Mornings with kids are a joke. Not a funny one. The kind that makes you stare at the wall at 6:47 a.m. questioning every life choice that led you here.
It’s socks. It’s always socks.
And lost lunchboxes. And sudden shoe hatred.
And WHY is the cereal box always empty when no one finished it??
I used to think we could be one of those families—calm, organized, maybe even eating breakfast together like a wholesome commercial. LOL. No.
But I have figured out some tricks. Not perfect ones, but better than chaos.
Step 1: Do 90% the Night Before (Because Morning You Is Useless)
Morning Me is weak. Nighttime Me? A tactical genius.
- Clothes out, approved, no “this is itchy” fights before coffee.
- Lunch made. Nobody making last-minute “buy lunch at school” deals.
- Backpacks ready. (Do I check for crumpled homework? Nope. I value my peace.)
There’s a basket by the door. If it’s not in there by bedtime? It’s dead to me in the morning.
Step 2: Trick the Kids Into a Routine
Kids hate being bossed. But they love being the boss.
Solution? Make them think it’s their idea.
- Checklist on the fridge. (Teeth. Clothes. Breakfast. Shoes. Boom. Done.)
- Timer challenge. (Jack races himself. Lily treats it like an obstacle course. Max just… wanders. But hey, 2 out of 3.)
- Tiny responsibilities. (Lily’s in charge of turning off lights. This is now her whole personality.)
Step 3: Breakfast = Whatever Gets Eaten
Mornings are not for elaborate meals. Minimum effort. Maximum success.
- Smoothies. (Throw fruit in a blender. Done.)
- Overnight oats. (Fridge does the work. I do nothing.)
- Hard-boiled eggs. (One boil = breakfast all week.)
- Toast. (Fancy name: “European Breakfast.” Reality: I forgot to buy more cereal.)
If they pick breakfast the night before, they actually eat it. Genius.
Step 4: Wake Up Earlier (I Hate This Too)
I don’t want to. You don’t want to.
But 10 extra minutes makes the difference between calmly leaving and screaming WHERE IS YOUR OTHER SHOE?! at 7:59 a.m.
So yeah. Set the alarm. Suffer. Drink coffee. Carry on.
Step 5: Use Every Tech Trick Available
We live in the future. Might as well use it.
- Google Calendar = No “you didn’t tell me” meltdowns.
- Alarm apps = Kids wake up to a song they love, not my exhausted sighs.
- Meal planning apps = So I don’t panic and throw dry Cheerios in a cup again.
**Step 6: Accept That Some Mornings Will Be WILD
You can do everything right, and still end up sponging milk off the wall.
Shoes disappear into a wormhole.
Lunches get forgotten 2 feet from the door.
Somebody remembers an urgent school project at 8:01 a.m.
That’s parenting. Expect it. Laugh. Move on.
Oh, and fake a 10-minute buffer. Need to leave by 7:30? Tell yourself 7:20. It’s the only reason we’re not late every single day.
Step 7: Celebrate Any Small Victory
- Everyone got out the door? Miracle.
- Nobody cried? Legendary.
- Remembered the permission slip? Retire now. You’ve peaked.
Final Thought:
Mornings won’t be perfect. But they don’t have to be pure survival mode, either.
Got better tips? Drop ‘em. I need all the help I can get.