We’ve all been there.
The baby is up for the umpteenth time that night. You accidentally stayed up way too late after the kids fell asleep to watch Netflix without anybody touching you. You catch yourself drooling on the baby’s head. You need something – anything – to help you stay awake during those 3am, 4am, 5am feeds.
You don’t need to tell us that the brain doesn’t really function at its absolute best during these restless nights. It’s hard enough to think of ways to distract yourself from the infinite exhaustion that parenting has introduced you to.
And don’t forget, you usually only have one hand to spare (sometimes none!).
We’ve taken the think-work out of it for you. Here are all the ways to keep yourself awake during those nights:
- Write a shopping list
- Watch Netflix
- Scout Netflix and add things to your list
- Play Candy crush
- Message friends and family overseas
- Snapchat other mum friends go see who else is awake
- Look up shirtless photos of Jamie from Outlander
- Search for videos of Jason Momoa swimming
- Do online banking
- Add things to your K-Mart cart
- Comment on white sound videos on YouTube – this one is hilarious (it turns out hundreds of parents are stuck with the white noise video playing for their baby and the only thing they can do without exiting the video is comment on it)
- Organise and categorise the apps on your phone
- Update the wallpaper on your phone
- Play “7 Degrees of Separation” with any two actors on IMDB
- Update your Bitmoji character (bags under eyes: optional)
- Make a list of jobs for your partner to complete around the house (highly recommend using the app ASANA for this)
- Sort through e-mails
- Get rid of red eyes in all the photos in your camera roll
- Browse catalogues online
- Mentally redesign your bedroom
- Look for crooked photo frames on your walls
- Read sci-fi stories about men being able to lactate and hope that day comes soon
Hopefully by the time you’ve studied this list, you’re done with this feed. Hopefully you’re just about to pop the baby back in their bassinet and get some much deserved rest. Hopefully the baby will sleep for 4-6 hours straight and you’ll feel like a million bucks.
We can only hope. Regardless of whether of not any of that happens though, you’re doing an amazing job, Mama!
Note: It is helpful to have a portable changer handy – it’s nights like these where the battery on your phone will drain and leave you in the lurch!